Contorted legs hobble stiffly down the ramp into the hydro therapy pool. Pain, like an annoying old friend who has well and truly outstayed its welcome, hangs onto me like a pissed off pitbull. Doesn’t it know I have places to go and a life to do? Well old mate, you leave me no choice. […]

  The fabulous Gold Coast. It arises from the coastal swamp of South East Queensland like a capitalist Colossus, striding the waves. Except with saggy pot belly, flaccid man cans, khaki shorts, white socks and sandals. The Botticelli Venus, rising from the sea. But with crispy brown paper bag skin, ultra blonde highlights and tea […]

“Can you believe this? I’m having a lap dance with my mum!” So here I am. Lesbian, feminist, mum, spending Saturday night with my Eldest Daughter in what she calls call “the titty club”. It’s the club where her sister works. I don’t know her sister very well but I know my Eldest Daughter adores […]

The other day in the car my kids asked me very seriously if I had Tourette’s. “Just a mild case.” For those not familiar with this syndrome, it is a neurological disorder characterised by repetitive stereotyped involuntary movements and vocalizations called tics. It can be distressing and debilitating. It is however most often associated with […]

My mother told me that her fondest memories of being pregnant were the Saturday afternoons she spent simmering in a steaming hot bath, glass of gin in one hand, Benson and Hedges in the other watching her tits grow. It was the only day of the week she could be bothered to boil the water […]

For my sixteenth birthday I had invited six friends over for a bar-b-que. Technically they weren’t actually my friends, yet. We had only been living in the area for a short while so I was hoping that this party would be my window of opportunity for a tiny amount of acceptance into a relatively small […]